Hey Mama

There’s something that’s been happening for many years now, something I’ve been blatantly ignoring for as long. Fat chicks love me. I can think back as far as 1997 when I first noticed that larger women have a liking towards me.

At the top of my head I can name 5 fat chicks that would jump my bones in an instant if they got the chance today. The latest to join the list is Kevin’s new housemate.

Before she moved in last week, I’d only seen her once, when she came for the interview. Since then I’ve seen her another 2 times. Already she’s sms-ing me, e-mailing me and calling me all the time. Last night she sent me an sms about her bed being a bit chilly and needed me to warm it up with her. I declined the offer.

Questions have arisen in my mind about why this is happening and so far I haven’t managed to come up with anything satisfactory. But if I were forced to come up with an answer, I’d have 2.

Personally, I prefer skinny chicks. That means whenever I’m around fat chicks, I act normal, almost as if I was around guys. I’d even go so far as to say, I’m extremely confident. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t confidence one of the most attractive qualities a man can have? When these women see a man who’s no intimidated by them, it just says all the right things about the guy, hence the attraction.

The second reason is somewhat related to the first. I’m not the skinniest guy in the world but I’d say I am on the small side. Because of the way I am around larger women, it would be easy to mistake my confidence as arrogance or cockiness. These women see this “cocky, skinny” guy and they just wanna break me in half. The idea of suffocating me, to teach me a lesson, may be very appealing to them.

But what am I to do. The heart wants what it wants. I like smaller girls. Tie me up and hang me from a tree for it.